Nostalgia．

sighs. May 28, 2009

we lost interclass. shall post tmr about it.
and hey ppl, thanks for the support and encouragement.

i really really love you all.

last year. May 25, 2009

and i was wondering what we were doing at this time last year.
and i realised how much i miss you .

oh and we are in the finals for interclass:D!!
haha against 3E:D jiayous(: and im having a terrible headache from playing under the sun.

4 more days to holis! but there be tons of hw ):

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:DD:D:D:D

When i took a step towards God, God took a thousand steps to me. May 24, 2009

hello.
im speechless. ive never seen such a fickle and blur person in my entire life. whatever you told her, you made me dislike you a little bit more; and i know everything you told her was untrue. it was all false information, but whatever you told her make her lose her faith in me. oh gosh. i have really never ever seem such a disgusting person as in. i cant believe it.

ytd worship was okay i guess. better then usual. havent been using strings for a long long time, ’cause i felt that it was too loud..

and hey clara, im really very sry about not being able to make it for eds concert ytd.. hope it was great? i’ll try my very BEST　ｔｏ　ｇｏ　ｎｅｘｔ　ｙｅａｒ！　ｈｏｐｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｅｎｊｏｙｅｄ　ｙｒｓｅｌｆ　ｙｔｄ．

ａｎｄ　ｉｎｔｅｒｃｌａｓｓ　ｏｎ　ｆｒｉｄａｙ　ｗａｓ　ｎｉｃｅ　ｉ　ｇｕｅｓｓ．　ｈａｈａ．　ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｆｉｒｓｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｄａｉ　ｑｉｕ　ｔｈａｔ　ｍｕｃｈ．　：Ｄｈａｈａ．

ｔｈｉｎｇ’s　ｂｅｅｎ　ｃｈａｎｇｉｎｇ　ｔｏｏ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｆｏｒ　ｍｙ　ｌｉｋｉｎｇ; and change isnt nice when we cant get what we want.

i bet you must be damn happy.

say. May 23, 2009

change. May 19, 2009

ive decided to change from blogger to wordpress. dont ask me why:D
ill continue to add the links tmr(:

i want my mommy. May 17, 2009

hello.
i just came home from j8. my mom decided that its time she spent sometime outside of house. so she brought me out to shop:D
spent some really nice time with her. and i really really got to know her better; we just kept talking.

im really scared all this will end when i tell her about the marks.
God. please dont let that happen.

sad goodbyes. May 17, 2009

hello:D just had a nice chat with cherie.
and i realised she’s right.
staying in the past cant be of much help.
and i realise, sometimes living in the past hurts so much.
cos you know it wont ever be the same again.

like what cherie said,
“ let it go so that God can put new hopes into your hands
there are so many more people Amanda can help..
by letting some of what you desire most, is like putting on a pair of spectacles
everything comes into a sharper focus and green blobs of landscapes will suddenly become the wonderful creation of the flora and fauna which God has created.“

hey cherie dont worry. ill bid the past goodbye. i wont forget it, but ill focus on the present.
but its gonna be hard.

sisters for life. May 16, 2009

i miss you so much.
i miss the time we spent together.
the many laughs, often just because we felt like it.
i miss telling you secrets, secrets that only you knew.
i miss gathering at the carpark and sharing stuff nobody else knows.
i miss having the many phone calls with you, or conference late at night.
i miss crapping with you.
i miss going to camps with you.
i miss serving with you.
i miss poking and tickling you.
i miss screaming and laughing with you.
i miss zhi high-ing with you.
i miss passing notes in sermon to you.
i miss that 2006 christmas. and the one before that.

and i remember when i needed someone there for me, you were there.
i remember that day at orchard, when my mom was in hospital having an op.
when i cried because of that, you comforted me.

church is just so different without you.
i tried to get used to it.
but i cant deny everything’s changed.
everything.
i miss you so much.

3 years. May 16, 2009

oh great.
some things are just not worth it.
not worth it at all.

People get ready – Human Nature May 16, 2009

May 14, 2009

im seriously getting more depressed every day.
life been suckish. with lots of Cs and 1 Ds.
and; whatever people say hurt. whether they meant it or not.
it may be a passing comment or just some joke, but what difference does it make?
people are still mean.and they say mean stuffs.
and there’s stil ptm next fri.
and im dreading it.
school is stressing and life is boring and empty.

“ So you make your face a mask.
A mask that hides your face.
A face that hides the pain.
A pain that eats your heart.
A heart nobody knows. “

and hey darling, goodbye.

Still have a heart May 13, 2009

hello:D
sth embarrassing happened today during HCL.
we had to chose an article and talk about it.
and then i chose an article about mother’s day.
and during the presentation almost cried.
think i scared the teacher cos i was talking about my mom’s cancer.
i havent cried about it in a while.
i just dont know what happened to me during HCL.
was it what people called “breakdowns”?
i have no idea.
but im quite sure that was caused by the overwhelming sense of sadness and guilt about my chem and other sub. because i havent told my mom yet. and the fact that there’s a ptm next fri.
and also because life isnt that all good nowadays.

and hey, i realised that you arent that bad, thanks for the help anyways.

May 10, 2009

the gala dinner just started.
it just started.

May 10, 2009

*sigh* i just cant stand it that im not going tonight.

“I’ll be actin’ through my tears
Guess you’ll never know
That I should win an Oscar for this scene I’m in“

May 10, 2009

hello. im still pretty bummed out that i cant go parent’s night. its like the most biggest and important thing the church’s gonna organise this year. and its not like im not free. while everybody’s there celebrating, ill be at home stoning.
maybe people would even forget about me.

since young, ive always wondered.
if i arent there, would people even know im not there?
if i just disappear, would people even care?
when im dead and have a funeral, would people even bother to come?

sometimes,people in this world arent what you think they are.

May 9, 2009

what’s the use of it all?
people dont even appreciate it at all.
its just like you’re as invisible as the wallpaper around the room.

May 9, 2009

dear friend

you’ve taught me load of things.

ive learnt not to trust anyone anymore; because no matter how hard people promised, or say they swear not to tell, it doesnt matter. because it’ll still end up the wrong way round.

i’ve also learnt that people who we call friends arent as nice as we think. they make empty promises, they talk bad about you, they hurt you because they dont think about how you would feel before they act.

you’ve taught me that close friends drift apart. maybe now, you’ll tell each other everything but then after some time, you’ll just become some hi-bye friend. or maybe not even friends.

you used to be someone i can really confide to; someone who i can trust and talk to everyday. but now. it all changed.

humans are complex creatures.
love, amanda.

No. May 3, 2009

what if i told you i hated you and wanted you out of my life?

May 2, 2009

just came back from church; feeling quite upset?
i dont know. life’s been feeling pretty empty and depressing.

worst. there’s school on monday after a longlong weekend.

May 1, 2009

HELLO:D
im pretty stressed now a days.
but 17 again was great! haha.
it was nice meeting you nic soh. ive heard a lot about ya.
and zac efron’s eyes are NICE:D hahaha
just came back from tuition, was on youtube watching video for stress relief(:
Britain’s Got Talent: Good Evans
heehee. go watch. Elliot is goood!

its quite suprising to read this.

“
The 13-year-old singer, who auditioned as part of family act Good Evans, has undergone eight major operations since he was a baby, according to a report in The Sun.

Estelle Evans said: “Elliot was born with Hirschsprung’s disease. It’s a lifelong illness. As a baby, he was seriously ill and had a lifesaving operation.

“He’s been in hospital an awful lot of times.”

The youngster made a big impression on Simon Cowell who predicted that he could go on to become a “superstar”.

from: http://entertainment.stv.tv/home/89363-britains-got-talent-star-elliot-suffers-from-bowel-disorder”

“Published: 18 Apr 2009

BRAVE Britain’s Got Talent star Elliot Evans is secretly battling a rare bowel disorder.

The 13-year-old, who wowed judges in his family’s singing group Good Evans, has endured eight major ops since birth.His mum Estelle said yesterday it had been “harrowing” to see him suffer so much. She told TV Biz: “Elliot was born with Hirschsprung’s disease. It’s a lifelong illness. As a baby, he was seriously ill and had a lifesaving operation. He’s been in hospital an awful lot of times.”

The disorder hits one in 40,000 people.

from: The Sun

“

im bored.